Style Conversational: Where the elyts meet The Invitational Empress talks about the Week 1163 backwards-word contest This sign was just won by Week 1159 second-placer Chris Doyle -- what a nice decoration for his new home in Denton, Tex. But many more prizes lie in wait at the Empress’s palace, Mount Vermin. By Pat Myers Pat Myers Editor and judge of The Style Invitational since December 2003 Email // Bio // Follow // February 18, 2016 I was prompted todo this week’s contest upon receiving an urgent message from my predecessor, the deposed Czar of The Style Invitational, from his dacha in Yekatrinburg: “Contest idea! Take any word or name, spell it backwards, new definition. Urabus — a mobile urology clinic. . . . This is a naturally good idea.” I didn’t disagree, but explained (as I often do) that, oh, we’ve done that one, repeatedly. But then I checked Ye Olde Master Contest List and discovered that “repeatedly” meant once in 2004 and once in 2006. We’re not changing it at all this time around, but I’m counting on (a) the fact that the dictionary has a lot of words in it and (b) we’re allowing names, too, and one or two have emerged over the last 10 years or so. I remember getting the suggestion for this contest back in 2004, my first year of Empressing. It was from Richard Grantham, the Australian word whiz who’s a big part of Anagrammy.com and its Anagrammy Awards competition, which has been showcasing astonishing anagrams (including some from the Loser Community) since 1998. And my introduction to Week 545 (my 10th contest) expressed the same immediate conviction that the Czar just did that this one would be a sure winner. AdChoices ADVERTISING I think the results of both Week 545 and the follow-up, Week 684, bear that out. (Not to mention that the Empress remarked on the “thousands of entries” each time; this is a contest that more readers are likely to try, because in just a minute or two you can think of /something/. I love hearing from new contestants.) What guidelines can we glean from the inking (and non-inking) entries for these contests? One is that if you’re going to do a name or term that’s on everyone’s mind right now, you’d better write a very original, clever definition, or it will end up in the “too many” pile. On the other hand, back then there was no 25-entry limit, so maybe some of the repetition wouldn’t have occurred had several Obsessive Losers not sent me lists of 200 entries. Second, the backwards-word has to be reasonably pronounceable. Third, there has to be some relationship between the original and backward words. This quality is common in all our neologism contests, but I made it a requirement for this one. And because of that, it’s going to be hard to make an effective joke if you use an obscure word or name. Finally: No. Although I’ve been known to stretch the parameters of a contest a bit to allow for some hilarious entry, if your word isn’t totally backward — if, oh, just a couple of li’l ol’ letters are out of order or missing — it’s no good. Don’t even ask. And check your spelling! I’m looking forward to using a series of inking entries in Week 1163 on my Style Invitational Ink of the Day page on Facebook. *GAMES OF GROANS*: THE RESULTS OF WEEK 1159* /*a non-inking alternative headline by Nan Reiner/ As a contest requiring writing (even a couple of sentences) , the Week 1159 contest for novel board or parlor games drew relatively few entries. And a few of these were put forward earnestly as actual plausible games, rather than jokes. A couple of people put forth page-long descriptions of how the game would work. Quite a few entries were allegories for the presidential campaign or some other mockable situation, and not surprisingly, many titles for the new games were plays on real ones. Such as this week’s brilliantly concise winning entry, “Klu: Mr. Black did it. Game over.” And Mr. Black did it this week: Dion’s first win knocks him off the Most Cantinkerous list at NRARS.org — the list of high-scoring Losers who’ve never ended up with the top prize; with 64 blots of ink, including seven runners-up, Dion had made it up to No. 4. The three runners-up are all veterans of the Losers’ Circle: It’s Chris Doyle’s ridiculous 158th runner-up, Mike Gips’s 16th (in addition to his seven wins) and the fourth from relative newcomer Jon Gearhart — who now, with 56 blots of ink but no win, moves up to No. 6 toward Most Cantinkerous. *JUST TOO GAMY: THE UNPRINTABLES* We might get some blowback on Bird Waring’s inking entry for “Doin’ Time,” particularly the “prag” reference, which I used instead of “prison bitch.” (Maybe I should have gone with “special friend.” But these two I’ll run just here. The first one, by Kevin Dopart, is very good satire, but just too graphic and upsetting: Whac-an-Infidel: You’ll be headed for a night of fun when the Great Satan’s spawn pop up and you have just 30 seconds to decapitate as many you can with a plastic sword. Easily reattachable heads means each round can start without delay. Upload videos of your best games to YouTube. Had Jeff Contompasis not designated this one “ ’Verse Only,” I might have run it. I’m glad Jeff cares more about his reputation than I do: Aunts in the Pants: From the makers of Taboo, it’s the game that brings families unacceptably closer together. *BULLETIN FROM THE PRIZE BUNKER * I spent a whole afternoon last weekend making /some/ progress in returning an upstairs room at Mount Vermin, the imperial palace, back into a reasonably presentable space, rather than the “Hoarders”-eligible sprawling mess it had been since I had to empty a decade’s worth of gewgaws from the Invitational Prize Closet two months ago and bring it all back to my house. I wouldn’t say that I have the perhaps 100 individual prizes (in addition to Inkin’ Memorials and mugs) perfectly sorted, logged in, etc. But they’re at least consolidated in boxes and I know what’s here, mostly. Some of the prizes are substantial; many of the items are little novelty things, not really at the level of what I’d give to a second-place winner even of the Invite. And some of both kinds, I’m embarrassed to say, no longer indicate who gave them to me (or possibly even to the Czar before me). I would very much like to send the little stuff out to people who’d opt for a random Mystery Prize rather than a magnet or whatever else they won in a particular week. So if you get ink regularly and have enough of the usual prize you’d get, e-mail me to say you’d like a Mystery Prize, and I’ll send you that instead. Let me know as soon as possible after the results run, and no later than the Monday afterward. *Also: If you’ve donated a prize that I haven’t sent out yet (not the ones in the past few weeks; those I’m on top of), let me know and I’ll make sure that your name is attached to it. * I /probably/ know, but ... (Some of these prizes were left at my house during the times the Royal Consort and I hosted the Loser Post-Holiday Party, in 2010 and 2013.) Also: Remember that Inkin’ Memorial winners may opt for an Inker, the previous, chronically fragile first-place prize. I have two unscathed ones plus one more that is okay except for a missing, broken-off base. (Really, is it all about that base?) Also: If you’re a winner or runner-up, you can opt for either mug or for a genuine Loser T-shirt, which we produced in many versions over the year. A couple dozen have been regifted to us by previous winners; some are brand-new and the others are very gently used. Almost all are size XL; there might be a couple of L’s. (We don’t have any more of the “My Cup Punneth Over” mugs, the one that we used between the versions we have right now. Also, we’re out of Grossery Bags: I’m vacillating on whether to order more of them.) In any case, if you’re a runner-up, I would like to hear from you by the Monday after the contest runs, about what you’d like me to send you. I don’t want to have to ask; for one thing, I tend to forget to until Tuesday, when I mail prizes from the newsroom. *‘MEET’-LESS THURSDAY * No “Meet the Parentheses” this week, since no more Losers have stepped up with a Q&A bio. If you’re one of the Top 25 or so in the current Loser standings or one of the all-time top 100 or so, e-mail me with a bio roughly in the form of our previous Meet the Parentheses (see previous Conversationals at washingtonpost.com/styleconversational ). Or you can choose another format, but talk to me about it first.